What's A Girl Like You Doing In A Place Like This

I didn't grow up thinking I wanted to "do" sex for a living, but I happened to be good at it, and so few other people were doing it correctly - intelligently, respectfully and honestly. 

Having been brought up in the Bible Belt under strict, Christian practices, I was taught to fear sex. I was certain that God would send me straight to Hell for it - or for anything human I did or thought about. I was still young when I recognized the hypocrisy of everything that I was brought up in, and I started to question what I was being exposed to. 

A gradual move across the US took me to Hollywood by the time I was 19. I enjoyed psychology and storytelling, so the decision to be an actress seemed natural to me. However, it didn't take long before I realized that I couldn't live off the wages I made as an unemployed actress and underage nightclub hostess. With an incomplete college education, no work experience, and nobody to turn to for support, I had no choice but to learn how to survive.

That's when I met someone who would introduce me to the world of adult entertainment. I was essentially instructed to sell my Bible and invest in a pair of stilettos. I did, and my life was never the same. 

My experience would span many facets of the entertainment industry, but it was around 2004 that my attitudes towards what I had to do to survive changed. I became genuinely fascinated with human behavior and our psyche as they related to sex. I became interested in the culture behind it, the social story it had to tell, and I knew there was some greater calling for me within the realm of sexuality. 

God, by the way, was going to have to get over it. I began to understand sex as a complex, wonderful, natural thing, and while it could easily be abused, embracing it intelligently was nothing to be ashamed of. 

Sex was everywhere - penetrating the daily lives of everybody on conscious and subconscious levels. As I became increasingly aware of this, I began to appreciate just how greatly it affected us, and I wanted to explore it on a deeper level. What did it all really mean and why? I have always been insatiably curious.

As I continued to work part time in the industry (while balancing it with 'real' work), it occurred to me that we, as a culture, have a great need to address some critical issues relating to our perceptions of sex. 

After more than a decade of industry exposure, I had gathered some incredibly unique and highly valuable perspectives on sexuality and relationships. I had spent years of my time talking to a countless number of people from all walks of life about their most intimate thoughts, their most private moments, their relationship issues, their insecurities, their wishes and I asked a lot of 'why'? I considered myself fortunate for the great lessons they taught me. 

It became my mission to help. I wanted nothing more than to bring much needed discussion to the table. I wanted to encourage people to examine their ideals and standards, to question their practices, to broaden their understading of one of the driving forces in our lives, and to live healthier, happier lives, in general - all by having a better grasp of our sexualities. 

My life from small town Bible school student to big city hustler was unusual, and, at many times, deeply difficult. It has also been vibrant, fascinating and wonderfully blessed. The best results can sometimes come out of the most challenging situations. These days, I am confident that this was the path I was meant to be on, and I look forward to sharing with others the valuable lessons that have been shared with me.   


As a former Playboy TV personality, erotica actress and glamour model, Valerie has over a decade experience in the art of sexual expression and profitable liberation. Thirteen years after taking her first nude steps on stage, she has become a crusader for sexual enlightenment.

Her goal is to use creative storytelling to help educate those with a curiosity about the culture and psyche of sexuality and to bring understanding to those who may appreciate the value of lessons learned from within the adult entertainment industry.

To learn more about Valerie, please visit www.about.me/valeriebaber.

 Once upon a time...  Playboy TV's "The Weekend Flash" personalities, Deanna Brooks, Valerie Baber and Kit Pomidoro appear inNew Orleans circa 2003.

Once upon a time...

Playboy TV's "The Weekend Flash" personalities, Deanna Brooks, Valerie Baber and Kit Pomidoro appear inNew Orleans circa 2003.

 Hosting a Sexcetera epidose with BodyImprints Artist Donna Marie, and her model, Candice.

Hosting a Sexcetera epidose with BodyImprints Artist Donna Marie, and her model, Candice.

Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.
— Brené Brown